Hi everyone!
I hate to give excuses (since they tend to signify I’ve somehow fucked up), but I have to do it: I apologize for the silence of the last couple of weeks. It was my intention to do some more interviews, create a video+article on the shameful attack on Salman Rushdie, and even to finally complete the 2nd (major) episode of the Blasphemy series… but things got in the way.
As some of you know, back in June I was the victim of an assault at a music festival in the Netherlands. Since then I’ve found it harder and harder to concentrate on creating new content or, if I’m honest, to even care about doing so. I’ve been open in the past about living with PTSD, and some of the symptoms really “flared up” (for lack of a better word) after this attack. It wasn’t the physical aspect of it; far from it (I don’t want to create the impression I was beaten to a pulp). It was the helplesness that really awoke some extremely painful memories, and which completely derailed my plans. *
Don’t worry, this isn’t an attempt to get you to send me any money, nor do I think I would feel any better if you were to do so (unless you’re planning to send me 100 grand or more, in which case, by all means go ahead and do it). I just thought you should know why I’ve been so quiet, and at least give you a reasonable timeline of when you can expect something new from me. As of right now, my plan is to write and record a video on the attack of Salman Rushdie and have it published by Sunday at the latest. I want to push myself to start creating again, and publicly giving myself this deadline is as good a motivator as any other.
Before things went to shit for me, I had also been working on a project about free speech in times of war. Since I’m kind of a weird person when it comes to inspiration, I’ve been visiting military cemeteries and battlefields. Being pretty close to the epicenter of both world wars has afforded me the privilege of visiting those places, and I’ve used the time to think a lot about all the blood that has been spilled in this continent, and all of the broken promises that states, religions and ideologies have made every time they’ve sent their young to die. And that’s without talking about the civilians, the nameless masses that have suffered every deprivation, horror, and humilliation trying to help a “war effort” that never achieved any lasting peace… at most it just moved the battlfields to places we don’t think about, and most of us can’t even find on a map. In the 1st world we don’t even bother promising that our wars will “end all wars” anymore; we just accept them as background noise. I’d love to end this paragraph with some fantastic piece of wisdom about war, peace, freedom, and all that good stuff, but I don’t think I have it right now.
Anyway, I still plan to complete that war+speech project, but my timeline has shifted a bit. To at least give you something to look at besides my ramblings (and assuming you’ve made it down to this section), here are some photos from the places I’ve visited… in what I’m sure is one of the most depressing holiday albums ever.
See you on the flipside.
*I have the good fortune of having friends and family members who care, as well as access to professional help if needed. The fact that in this particular ocassion that hasn’t been enough to make everything right does not blind me to how incredibly lucky I am to have that.
Work at your pace own pace man, get yourself in the right place first and focus on what's important :) the reason I enjoy your blog is the quality over quantity when it comes to your work, I'd rather something every so often that is thought provoking and completed with passion than the swill blogs like metalsucks dish out everyday